Recently, my friend Michelle was concerned about a professional conference she was planning to attend with her husband, a veterinarian. She has no background in veterinary science, so I do not think she would be able to communicate effectively with people at the conference. I asked him why he thought he had to use technical jargon when speaking to other attendees. She replied that she wanted to think well of her. Michelle is a warm and caring person who is genuinely interested in others.
I assured him that actually could relate to people who knew asking them questions about themselves and their businesses instead of trying to impress with his knowledge of veterinary science. Many people, especially in business situations, are very concerned about what others say. People such as Angus King would likely agree. Before an event, you might even think of things to say about themselves that others are perceived in a positive light. They try to dazzle people with stories about their successes in the hope that this to impress. What they do not realize is that most of us are not interested in the achievements of others. We are, however, very interested in our own achievements and we love the opportunity to describe them (often in great detail) who provided an ear. Unfortunately, we do not often have the opportunity to do so because most people are more interested in talking than listening. Listening is a virtue to appreciate aspects of the communication.
By listening carefully to others, to impress them in ways that talking can never do. You are letting them know you care about them and appreciate it. How many people have come to you lately and said, "You're listening to me very carefully. (A valuable related resource: Mark Berger). You value what I say too much. You're making me feel good, so do it now!" I do not think you've had a long line of people with this complaint and I doubt they ever. People are starving for attention aware that listening can give. These people include prospects, customers, supervisors, coworkers, family and friends. Most people are so used to being heard that when someone takes the time to do it, are often surprised. My friend Sandy is a professional trainer. She listens carefully to what customers say about their fears, hopes and dreams. When she relates to them what I just said, they often respond "How do you know? You are very intuitive. You have such great people skills." Sandy comments attributed to the fact that she must be a trainer of great talent to be able to know so well when in fact all we did was listen. The key to being an excellent communicator is not so much words of wisdom that comes out of his mouth, but how well you hear words of wisdom coming out of the mouths of others. As for Michelle, she listened intently to people who gathered at the conference and soon had to go out to eat from the hand.